Fiction » “Monologues From the Intergalactic Origami Champion”
“Monologues From the Intergalactic Origami Champion”
Part 1 of 3
Uh, hi.
My name is Blurr—and that’s with two ‘R’s. I am a Transformer from the planet Cybertron. And, at the urging of my ex-partner, Haywire, I’ve been an amateur origami competitor for seven years running. I’ve been running champion for the last three years.
So, why, I am sure you’re asking, am I an amateur origami competitor? Well, I’ll get to that soon. The first question I should answer is, why do I write these monologues? I’ve never been one for keeping a log—I’m far too fast for that, believe me. Maybe it’s because I have a flair for the written word? Nope, not that. Maybe it’s because I talk too fast for most people to understand. Even my binary bit streams run too fast for the other Autobots to compute.
What was my point? Oh yes. You see, you have to forgive me. Usually I have so much time to fill in with my speech I make up extra bits so that it doesn’t feel like it’s over so quickly. What was it that Haywire called it? Rummage, he would say. Actually I kind of like saying that word… it has a certain consonant-reverb to it when it’s charged out of the vocaliser. Yes, the point. I write these monologues as they provide some order to my thoughts. And this way I can deal with my issues one at a time.
It was all Haywire’s idea. Well actually it was one of those things that the two of us came up with together. Like a brainstorming session. He’s a lot like me in that we’re incredibly highly strung. That, and we never seem to slow down. So, one evening in the Ark we were settled down, just talking. I was on my third refined oil and he was drinking some kind of “vegetable extract” liquid. He was concerned that the other Nebulans were excluding from activities, and he was having trouble articulating his thoughts. After much, uh, rummage, we decided that writing things down would help.
I am still not convinced that keeping a written log is any help. But I suppose I am open minded enough to try anything; so, here are my monologues.
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